Beer Blast of the Future
Published: Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Updated: Tuesday, November 2, 2010 23:11
We all get nostalgic for fraternity parties. We miss the rebellious feeling of choosing the weeknight kegger over studying for midterms, the chance to talk to that cool kid from class while downing some liquid courage from a plastic cup, and the possibility of witnessing that ridiculous scene that one guy (you know who I am talking about) always managed to create. As much as we may reminisce about undergraduate days and the glory that is the college keg party, we never seem to hear things like "man-- I really miss how hot, cramped, and beer-drenched those parties used to be."
Dear Sternies, we know that Beer Blast is hot, cramped, and beer-drenched. We assure you, those were not our goals. We have looked into a variety of ways to address these problems, including:
1. Rewiring the entire UC level of the school in hopes of rerouting the frigid Paulson Auditorium air into the Beer Blast room.
Pro: The average temperature in the room would drop by 30 degrees and you would finally have a good reason to buy that $60 NYU sweatshirt you've been eying.
Con: Your tuition would increase.
2. Stealing snow machines from the Adventure Club's ski retreat this winter and installing them around the Beer Blast room.
Pro: Higher likelihood of a snowball fight.
Con: We would have to wait until ski season.
3. Requiring students to compete for a precious spot in the Beer Blast room while being filmed for an MTV reality show by the MBA/MFA students.
Pro: Who doesn't love some high quality reality television? (We already have a home field advantage thanks to Johnnie...)
Con: Simon Cowell won't return our phone calls. (Thanks a lot, Jay.)
While we (sadly) will not be having any snowball fights with Simon Cowell in our near future, we are thrilled to announce that we have found a solution that is within our realm of possibility. You may have noticed that Beer Blast looked kind of different last week... if you didn't, you may want to think about drinking less next time around.
For those of you who have been avoiding social interactions over the past week, we are excited to inform you that we have officially doubled the size of the Beer Blast venue by expanding the party into Sosnoff Lounge! We hope you enjoyed the changes last week; let's work to make them permanent.
Here are the important things you need to know:
1. Check-in to Beer Blast will not change at all. The only way to enter Sosnoff will be via the staircase from the Beer Blast room. Please be careful while drinking and walking. I know multi-tasking can be difficult.
2. There will be no music in Sosnoff. If you want to party, go downstairs; if you want to get some fresh(ish) air and actually hear the person you're talking to, head to Sosnoff.
3. Sosnoff will only be open to Beer Blast attendees and the café will be closed. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause-- especially to students with a class at that time. I hear there is a great fake Starbucks across the street.
We only need one thing from you:
Keep the beer/wine inside the Beer Blast room and Sosnoff Lounge at all times. Ixnay on the hallway parties, please. If they continue, we fear that Beer Blast will not.
Here's some little known "Beer Blast from the Past" trivia: up until last year, Beer Blast was held exclusively in Sosnoff Lounge. Essentially, we are going back to our roots-- but with a sweet new room in addition this time around. It should fit like a glove.
See you at Beer Blast on Thursday!