Mysterious Opp and Biz

MYSTERIOUS OPP

Hey hey, this is the infamous Mysterious OPP! What's up Sternies? Me, I'm swell!!! Before I start dishing out the dirt, I wanted to thank "Libby Libbons," for such an insightful email with the subject, "Burn em ladies!" As a respectable gossip columnist for a reputable school newspaper, I truly appreciate your response to my article about a certain MBA1 vixen's "alleged sexual promiscuity." I am so inspired by your message to women at Stern to embrace their sexuality to the max... I totally stand behind you 100%, go girl! That means more love for all Sternies, and more juicy gossip for me. What an excellent example of win-win situation! Hey it's Fall - it's a perfect time to fall in lust, eh, love.

The Velvet Rope Miss Sonali, Nagesh, and Ross celebrated their birthdays by throwing a big bash at a swanky rented loft two Saturdays ago (btw, Happy Birthday guys!) Apparently, it was such a cool party that the guests were made to form a line and wait outside a locked door for the "bouncer" to let them in... damn!

OPP gets OCD MBA1s (and some MBA2s) - read my next story very carefully. I have given you valuable information on dating hot MBA2 girls. Now that the corporate presentations have started, I want to help you impress the recruiters so that you can get a kick-ass internship to help you finance your dates. Since OCD only gives you positive feedback for some odd reason, I want to tell you what NOT to do at these schmoozing sessions...

Lesson 1: Thou shall not talk about other companies on your target list at corporate presentations

Yes, even amongst your classmates. You may think that those recruiters are too busy to hear you, but what you may not realize is that your voice may be annoyingly high-pitched/loud/booming like that of a certain MBA2 that committed this offense at a recent corporate presentation. She shall remain nameless.

Lesson 2: Thou shall not leave in the middle of any event with corporate representatives - EVER

Maybe if you had whole milk instead of skim milk in your coffee earlier that day. But no matter how boring it is, it is extremely rude to leave corporate presentations (and any club events with company reps) in the middle. Hey, if you can survive a 3-hour MO class, you can sit through an hour and a half of corporate presentation, can't you?

Lesson 3: Thou shall not hog air time with recruiters/company representatives

You know, those recruiters do notice if you spit out questions after questions like a machine gun without a pause, which shows complete disrespect for your fellow classmates who are also trying to get face time. You may think that you are impressing the recruiters with your ability to command an audience with such insightful questions, but the truth is, you're just making your classmates look 100% better than you at your expense. A certain MBA2 is notorious for doing that, but she shall remain nameless. But on the other hand, it's kinda creepy if you came and introduced yourself to the recruiter but remain standing by him/her silently without ever asking questions too. The key is, show respect. Introduce yourself, ask a question or two, excuse yourself at an appropriate pause, ask for a business card for a follow-up, and move on.

Lesson 4: Thou shall turn OFF your mobile at corporate presentations

Off means off. Don't even put it on vibrations mode. In fact, don't bother bringing your mobile at all, unless you are waiting for your very pregnant wife who is about to burst. And if someone's mobile does go off, feel free to give them a dirty look, they deserve it. You know why? It not only makes them look bad, but it also makes Stern look bad. 'Nuff said.

Lesson 5: Thou shall only ask "smart" questions at corporate presentations

Hey, if you want to know about what interning at an XYZ company is like, ask the MBA2s first, not the company reps. Do some research. It will make you look good. And don't ask questions that only pertain to you (i.e., "what should I do" type of questions.) Oh, and no matter what company reps tell what a "wonderful" question it is, OPP strongly recommend that you not ask them about the downsides/negative aspects of their company and work, unless you have an offer on the table. Those types of intrusive questions are discouraged at corporate presentations, especially when meeting the reps for the first time. Got it?

Lesson 6: Thou shall not wear jeans/sneakers/flip-flops to any event with company representatives, unless explicitly instructed to do so

That includes those GFA, MCA, GMA events. Wear at least a business casual attire. You want to look good, don't you?